My Smile
by Piper-Knight
Summary: They were friends since diapers. She has a rough family life, He has no one but his friends. She loves him, He's dating Konan. She decides to end her pain, He just so happens to get to her before it happens. Can He save Her? Will She let Him?AU SakuxPein


**Piper: I was just about to fall asleep, no joke, when I got this idea and I got up at 12:30 to start writing it.**

**WARNINGS: ONE-SHOT, Dark, Angsty, One or two cusswords**

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My Smile

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**Sakura**

It started some how with out my consent, that much I know. Maybe it started with a certain touch or look, or maybe it grew over time, but it was there. Sometimes, I would forget that it was even there, only to be reminded when he came around or back into my thoughts. It was a pleasant feeling in the beginning. Every time I would catch his eyes with mine or we would accidentally touch, my heart would skip a beat and then flood with warmth. It was an amazing feeling, and the more often it happened the more I missed it. After my father left and my mother discovered the amazement that is drinking, he was the only good thing in my life besides our friends.

From his amazingly orange hair to his grey-green eyes, I always considered him perfect. His skin was like the color of milk, so pale and smooth since birth. His structure had grown from a lanky middle schooler, into a tall, well built high schooler. He had muscles, very attractive, toned ones, but they weren't so over the top that they were repulsive. He was about six feet, four inches tall, and I barely made it to his chest, only able to lay my head on his shoulder if I was on my tip-toes. A weird part of him that some how drew me in further, were his piercings. He had three on each side of his nose, some how along the bridge. He had snake bites, a pierced tongue, one eyebrow pierced, and piercings all along the side of his ear, twice in the part that dangles below the ear, and a bar going through the whole ear.

But, it wasn't just his appearance that drew me in. It was his personality, our connection. He was a colder kind of person, and he didn't show his emotions really, but he was looser around the ones he was comfortable with. Since we've known each other since before we could even speak, I always had a smile from him that was reserved especially for me. He would laugh around me, well, it was more like a deep chuckle, but I was able to bring it out and it always made me feel warm inside.

For a while, I thought the he felt the same. When our eyes would meet, he would hold for a few moments, face impassive. If our hands accidentally brushed when we walked side-by-side, we would both linger, my hopes being that he would take my hand. He never did. Eventually our hands would distance, whether by one of us pulling back or we went separate ways. Sometimes, he looked like he was leaning forward ever so subtly. Not a full out lean, but a slight unnoticeable tilt, and it always made my breath catch with a new hope in my eyes, but he would always lean back just as my hopes would reach their peak.

After a while of getting used to the feeling, I began to ask my self: When did I fall in love with my best friend? It took a while for me to come to terms with that, and it also took a little confessing. So far, our group of friend knew, but he did not. They had kept their promise strong of not telling, which I was thankful for. They would always do little things that would include him and I together, like making me ride in his car whilst the others painfully squished into Itachi's car. They tried and tried to help me give hints, very small hints, but he never took the bait.

At first, it seemed to be progressing, until he stopped spending as much time with us. He had more excuses that just didn't seem to add up, and the more we pestered, the more his excuses turned into the simple "I'm busy". It had all but crushed me when he would say it directly to me, and I would spend just about an hour or two leaning on one of my friend's shoulders, stubborn tears locked in my eyes. I got tired of the depression, his rejection of us spending time together, so I went to confront him. I let myself into his house with the spare key he had given me, and traveled through the house with a stubborn glint in my eyes. When I had made it to his bedroom, I saw something that _did _completely crush me.

I knew that it was over the moment I saw Him giving Her My smile.

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My heart twisted in my chest when I saw him lean over, whispering something in her ear. Konan, the She who had somehow stolen my smile and the one my heart called to, giggled a little, bumping her shoulder into his with a smile on her face. Pein, the one who had managed to take my heart through our friendship, smirked at her reaction, and then turned back to Itachi, both of them engaging into a conversation.

It was lunch time, and we were all sitting in the courtyard with our food. Well, _their_ food. I don't think many of our friends had noticed that I had stopped eating. It wasn't for any reason; I just wasn't hungry any more. Just the thought of food repulsed me, and I rejected almost everything handed to me. The only one of our friends, who had noticed, was Zetsu, who was now giving me an apple, crackers, and a water bottle everyday, making sure I got that down before lunch was over. I always did, but threw it up once the bell rung and I made it to the bathroom. I made sure to be silent, so to not alert the other girls flooding the bathroom.

Zetsu just came through the doors of the school; his class must've been let out late, and sat down next to me with his lunch in a sack. He unrolled the top, and sternly laid out the lunch he brought for me, in front of me. He paused for a moment, looking at me as I stared at the food through glass eyes. I reached forward, taking the apple in my hand. Knowing he was watching, I took a healthy bite, chewed, and swallowed. Satisfied, he dug into his own lunch.

The apple slide down uncomfortably, and my throat flexed, trying to bring it back up. I choked, coughing loudly. Our table silenced as I reached for my water bottle, forcing the apple down with a gulp of the cold liquid. Everyone was still staring when I used the back of my hand to wipe any access water from my lips. I gave everyone a big, fake smile of reassurance, that I had been easily able to acquire from my step-brother, Sai. They all went back to talking as I assured them I was fine, going back to their own conversations amongst each other.

I stared at the food in front of me, lost in thought. I was feeling extremely empty today, for some odd reason. I felt very tired, and I could tell that I was because of the faint purple lines underneath my eyes, lack of sleep having colored the skin there. It was terribly noticeable on my milky pale skin, but when my friends questioned about it, I told them I was suffering from Insomnia, which wasn't a complete lie. I might be able to sleep if my emotions weren't a giant tunnel of depression, or if my mother wasn't having a drunken rage in the next room.

"Sakura?"

My eyes met the golden/honey-brown orbs of Sasori, who was looking at me with a little bit of concern on his face. I gave him a smile, fake as could be, and he narrowed his eyes at me. I blinked, and said in the strongest tone I could muster, "I'm fine." He continued to stare, before a small giggle from Konan and a flash of pain went through my eyes, then he shot me a look of sympathy. I looked down, not wanting to see them sitting so close, not wanting to see him give her my smile.

As I began to think, the world began to melt away from me. I pushed the black skirt of my school uniform back slightly, looking at the purple bruise on my thigh, remembering the icy cold pain I held felt when my mother's heeled foot had stepped there sharply. I pushed my skirt back as my heart began to throb painfully in my chest. I heard Pein chuckle, a chuckle I used to only be able to get from him. My heart twisted, and my hand reached into my knee high combat boots. I fingered the razor hidden with in, not able to feel the fold metal, but its shape around the paper I had wrapped it up in to keep it from scratching my leg up when I walked. I had to wear black arm covers now, black ones that went from a few inches below my elbows and up to the heels of my hands. They hid my scars, but they were easily confused as a decoration to my outfit.

I stood, making everyone turn towards me. I gave them all a bright look, and said in a light tone, "I have to go to the bathroom." With that, I walked towards the school, my heart heavy and my depression eating me away. Each step I took, the chains of my combat boots clinked together, and my heart squeezed. I was so tired... So tired of life, tired of trying to keep myself smiling for everyone else. I was tired of my heart aching for him, when he almost completely ignored me now. I was tired of being my mother's punching bag, and her shoulder to cry on when it all came crashing down.

My eyes looked before me, and I saw myself staring straight at the door to the roof, a simple sign telling us children no entry. There was a lock on the door, and I merely took a bobby pin from my hair and got to work. Once the lock was off, I was up. I took each stair with a heavy steps, going as fast as I could force my body to go. Eventually, desperation to get everything over with settled in, and I was practically flying up the stairs, my feet taking three at a time. Once at the top, I flung the door open as light from outside enveloped me.

The roof was plan, the flooring of the roof was built with concrete and there was no fence around the edges. There was a building to the right of the stairs well, most likely a shed for all the tools the school needed to keep the courtyard lawn fresh and the plants happy. A few pieces of metal lay around the roof top, looking like pieces of the metal shed. I took a long, sturdy looking piece, and wedged it against the door, so that it wouldn't open.

Desperation and adrenaline failing me, I took slow steps towards the edge of the roof. My eyes suddenly filled with tears as I was able to peer over the edge carefully. I could see the whole court yard from here, even my friends. A few tears fell when I thought about what I would be doing to them, and guilt overwhelmed me. I pushed it down, closing my eyes as tears continued to flow from them. I felt terrible for wanting to leave them this way, but it just didn't seem to work any more.

I didn't want to smile when I was falling apart, not anymore.

My eyes opening slightly, I stepped onto the edge of the building, my muscles tensing. What was I waiting for? I closed my eyes, and decided one last moment of peace. I stubbornly shoved at my feelings until I could hardly feel anything, spreading my arms out wide as I let the wind flow around me, blowing the thick, choppy, and shoulder long pink tresses of my hair, the underneath layers dyed black. Despite my peace, I could still hear chatter from below, and when I heard a shout, I knew I had been spotted.

I honestly couldn't care less, it was almost over.

**Pein**

I watched as Sakura walked towards the school, my heart thumping in my chest when she didn't even glance at me when she walked past. Konan began to speak to me, and I looked down to her to give the illusion that I was listening. It felt wrong to have my arm around her, when she wasn't the one I wanted. I mean, I did like Konan in that kind of way, she seemed to understand, but I _wanted_ the pinkette who had just walked away. Sakura was the one I always wanted, but I realized it too late. I got into a relationship with Konan after meeting her at the school library, and we hit it off. She managed to get me to speak, to open up, and get me to smile. I jumped into that too soon, ditching my friends for her, until we began to date and we all hung out together.

For a while, I hated myself. I wanted to go and talk with Konan, to hear her input on my life, and talk about her life. I wanted to listen to her, because she understood me, but I absolutely loathed myself when I saw tears swimming in Sakura's eyes every time I told her I was busy. I didn't want Sakura to find out about Konan, for some reason I wanted her to be my secret. But Sakura did find out, and I felt much worse for some reason. It took me a stupid decision to realize that Sakura understood understood very well, maybe even more then Konan.

I began to think of Konan as a sister, but she most defiantly wanted more. She initiated the kisses, the touches, the everything. She sat in my lap, she began the sweet talk, and she continued to pour her affection out to me to the point where I began to accidentally return them, the feeling of it depressing. Every time I would press my lips to her forehead, I would think of how Sakura would've made it a kiss on the cheek, still self cautious of her forehead after having a rough childhood of teasing about its size, even though she was grown into now. Every time I would run my fingers through Konan's hair, I would wish that instead of soft, mid-back length blue waves, it was silky pink and black shoulder length layers. When I stared into her blue eyes, I was imagining emerald green staring back at me with such love.

But, I couldn't just dump Konan and go for Sakura, for it would hurt Konan and there was a chance that Sakura wouldn't forgive me for ditching her, or like me like that in the first place. I watched as Sakura's life began to descend, and I could tell it was affecting her. I watched as her grades slipped and she began to just quit doing homework. I watched as she began to fall asleep in class, only to get in trouble with the teacher minutes later. I watched as she grew thinner, when she had already been scarily skinny before. I watched as her eyes grew lifeless, and how she began to act as if the littlest effort was enough to make her tired. It wasn't being lazy, I could tell that much, but I just couldn't figure out the cause of her new attitude.

I looked up when I heard a voice yell. A girl named Ino Yamanaka was screaming at the top of her lungs, sounding more terrified then ever, "Oh my god! Look at the roof!"

Many heads turned towards the roof, and what I saw froze my entire body and stopped my heart from beating for a few beats.

Pink hair sashayed with the wind as the pinkette I've known for so long stood atop the roof, her arms spread wide, as if she were imagining she were flying. She swayed occasionally, causing uneasy chattered amongst the panic. A few students ran towards the school, yelling something about going to get the teachers. A few students were whipping out their cell phones, dialing for the police in their panic. I stood, leaving Konan's body on the seat of the picnic bench. She murmured my name, her eyes trained on Sakura, their blue depths wide with terror. Suddenly, I felt my body moving.

I sprinted towards the school, my body on auto pilot while my mind was panicking. I flung myself through the school doors and through the halls. I tried desperately to remember where the stair well was, and just as that thought went by, I realized that my body was already flinging open the door, the metal stairs clanging underneath my feet as I thundered up them. My shoulder exploded with pain when I ran into the door at the top of the steps, expecting it to swing open. I swore when I realized that she must've blocked it. I back down a few steps, before charging once again. I heard a satisfying screech of metal, and tried again.

I stumbled through as the door flung open, a piece of metal dancing on the ground until gravity ceased its movements. My eyes look straight forward, locking on the pinkette standing on the side of the roof. She stood as if she hadn't heard the door slam open. I contemplated running straight forward and pulling her down, but I knew that the possibility she could hear me was high, and she might get scared and jump before I could reach her. So I tried to reach her differently.

"Sakura."

**Sakura**

I could hear him, and more tears slipped down my cheeks. It only seemed ironic that I would hear his voice before I died. I slid my foot forward, the tip of my combat boot now touching air. Just as I was about to slide the other forward, he spoke again.

"Sakura, get down from there. You don't want to do this."

His voice was the same velvety tone it always was, and a shiver rolled down my spine. It seemed too real, but it wasn't him. I knew he wasn't the one who opened the door; he was down below, most likely holding Konan in his arms as they looked up at me from below. She would get scared, terrified to see someone end their life, and he would murmur things in her ear to ensure that everything was okay, when it most certainly wasn't. For a moment, my jealousy took over and I though to myself nastily, I hope that when I jump, I land right in front of her. I hope that what ever blood may spill splatters on her, and on him.

My heart thumped painfully as he spoke once again, telling me to step away from the edge. I shook my head, trying to knock is voice from my mind. I began to shiver, the urge to just toss myself over growing with each second. I listened again for the voice, and was about to move forward when he spoke again.

"Sakura, please, don't do this," His deep voice wasn't normal. He had the same emotionless tone, but he had a hint of panic laced within.

"Why?" This was a game. Maybe, if I could convince the voice, he would leave me alone. I wouldn't have to be tortured like this, even at the time of my death. I would play this little game, and then, I would be splattered over the pavement, ending this pain wracking me since Pein began to ditch me for his secret meeting with Konan. I would be rid of emotions like this, and I could finally have real peace, not forced peace like before.

"We care about you...Sakura, we can help."

"You've really proved that," I whispered bitterly, "You've proved that you care so well!" I couldn't help but shout, my tone distressed. I shivered as tears leaked faster from my eyes, my throat clogging up with sobs that I didn't want to shed. I didn't want to cry about my pathetic life, I didn't want sympathy. All I wanted was for this to end. I didn't want to love Pein any more, only to know painfully that he didn't feel the same, and was so willing to drop me once he did find someone that he liked.

"Sakura..." He muttered, but I wasn't finished.

"I love you, you bastard!" I whispered through clenched teeth, wishing that I wasn't just talking to my imagination, that I could truly tell him those words, "And when you began to ditch us, ditch me...It crushed me. I lost not only my best friend to some random girl I didn't even know, but the one how'd managed to steal my heart without my knowing! I don't see any other ways to fix this feeling, to make it go away, except for this... So, just... let me fall..." I whispered, this time only a single tear falling down my cheek.

It was silent for a few seconds, and I almost jumped out of my skin when finger tips brushed against my writs. I turned around, eyes wide with distress. My jaw dropped when I saw grey-green eyes staring at me, shining with hidden emotion. His choppy orange locks blew softly as the wind rolled past, and I realized that I hadn't been talking with my imagination. I had just confessed to Pein.

He wrapped two fingers around my wrist, pleading me with his eyes, "Sakura..."

"It's not worth it..." I whispered, "It never was...I should've realized that I could be so easily replaced. I should've realized that you would never feel the same."

A few seconds past, before his fingers pulled away. My heart twisted and a sob left my throat, and just as I was about to toss my weight over the side, he took my hand. My eyes widened, and my heart skipped a beat. His other hand linked fingers with my free hand, holding the gently.

He took a deep breath, and I shivered when I realized that he was standing behind me, his breath tickling my neck, "I love you." He stated, no emotion showing, but some how his tone was softer then normal. My heart quickened, before I stamped out the fire starting in my chest.

"Don't say that," I hissed, "Because I know you don't mean it. Why would you be dating Ko-"

He cut me off with a movement, stepping onto the roof side with me, using our locked hands to pull my back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, our hands still locked, making my arms wrap around myself also. He wasn't putting any weight on me, and his said in a chilling tone, "This isn't about Konan. Forgot about her. This is about us, Sakura. If you jump, I'm going with you. If I can't be with you in life, then I will be with you in death." he murmured darkly, making sure we were securely pressed together.

Tear began to gather in my eyes once again, as I watched below when police cars began to gather around the court yard, their light reflecting against the pale skin of my face, "How can I just forget the pain?"

"You don't," He said quietly, "You let me fix it."

I closed my eyes. Stubbornly, I lent forward slightly, wanting very much to just shove myself off the roof, but I couldn't kill him. I couldn't take his life no matter how much he had hurt me. I pushed us back, and he lifted me into his arms and walked us away from the edge. I was crying again, tears leaking from my eyes. I looked up, and saw something that promised a new beginning.

He was smiling.

My smile.

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**Piper: DONE! Please review and tell me how it was!**


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